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How to Make Decisions
to Live Your Own Life
Dr David McDermott
When you are deciding
things what kind framework do you have in place? Is it all about you or
is it all about others? Do you constantly seem to be avoiding risks or
problems or do your choices take you closer to the things you want? Do
you make choices for instant gratification or for future reward? Do your
choices serve to keep you isolated? Do you somehow seem to sacrifice
yourself to keep others happy?
Let’s have a closer look at some of these ideas.
Consequences
Sometimes people have difficulty making decisions because of the
consequences. One of these consequences may be “what will other people
think?” This frequently leads people to not making a decision or not
doing the thing that they would really like to be doing for themselves.
So they miss out. They have never learnt to make decisions for
themselves, or they can make a decision but don’t stick to it. They need
other people to think well of them so that they can be okay. Which
means, of course, that other people are actually making the decisions
for them.
The other argument, of course, is that if I do this purely for myself,
then it is selfish. Oscar Wilde said that selfish is not living your
life the way you want to live it, selfish is expecting other people to
live their lives the way you want them to. By this definition it’s
actually selfish of other people not to allow you make decisions that
are consistent with living your own life.
Standing out
Another consequence of making decisions is whether or not it makes you
stand out from the crowd. This may be desirable, or it may not. However,
instead of always choosing to be part of the group, or always choosing
to do something different from the group, it’s useful to have
flexibility in this area.
And if you start making different kinds of decisions than before, it may
not please those around you, because they have become accustomed to you
doing things a certain way. How do you deal with that?
Sorting for problems...
How much of your decisions and choices are based upon making sure that
you avoid risks and difficulties? This means that much of your attention
is taken up with considering failure and what does not work. Past
mistakes are carried around and are used as reminders of those things
that are not wanted. This is similar to the coward, looking over his
shoulder and running away from what he does not want. Where he is going
is of little interest so long as he gets away from the things behind
him.
... or possibilities
I’m not saying that avoiding problems is not necessary. I’m suggesting
that it’s more useful to have your focus of attention on where you’re
going and what you want, knowing that within this framework you have
already learnt what kinds of things to avoid. Because even the best
decision maker knows that the unexpected will happen. And he/she builds
this into the decision making process.
Time frame
So what about the time frame of your decisions? How far into the future
do you consider the impact of the choices you make? I think this is very
much related to the starting point, the place from which you make your
decisions. If you are concerned about your own safety and security, that
timeframe is typically very short. However, it is also very useful to be
able to make decisions that you know will hold true for a long time into
the future. This way you don’t have to keep remaking them.
Those internal signals!
What about those times when you know you’d like to, or should, choose
one option and you end up doing another? And later you think back and
realize that you made a mistake. But you also realize that at the time
you already knew it was a mistake. It’s interesting that you knew at the
time what you should have done, but you chose to ignore the signals.
Maybe it’s time to learn to pay attention to these signals, if only you
knew what they were…
There are those who spend time weighing up the pros and cons of each and
every option available. They give each aspect of each choice a number so
that they can total them up and make the best choice. Only to find that
by the time they make up their mind, some of the opportunities have
gone, some are no longer appealing and they’ve run out of motivation.
"Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able
to decide. "
Napoleon Bonaparte
And then, of course, there are others who never have to engage in this
analysis. These people seem to know how to quickly and easily gather the
available information in a situation, make a decision, stick to it, and
go through with it.
Efficient and effective
These folks also know how to easily change their decision. But they only
do so when they get new and highly relevant information. And they have
the ability to determine what is relevant new information and what is
not.
If you were making great decisions easily and quickly, what would you do
with all the extra spare time you would have?
How would you like to have all these considerations, and more,
integrated into a single decision-making process? So that you knew each
and every decision was appropriate for you and for those around you?
This process is already built into your system and you can learn to do
it consciously for yourself. Are you ready?
Article Directory:
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Dr
David McDermott walked away from a career as a plastic surgeon where he
was helping people change on the outside. He now teaches profound
personal change from the inside out, using the Ultimate Decision Making
Model, you're own! Find out more at
www.decision-making-confidence.com
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