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Serious Tips to Help You Get Over Your Ex

Posted on November 5, 2006
Filed Under Forgiveness, Health & Wellness, Motivation, Personal Development, Relationships, Self Improvement, Self-Help Tools, Spirituality, Success |

Tehran Sunset
When someone becomes an “ex” and I mean “EX” because you know fully well that you need to sever all contact and remove this person from your life. Why? Because their being around you is only going to hinder your progress, your ability to get on with your life and your chance to meet someone else who is truly going to love you. If you have such a person in your life today, then these tips are for you.

Who qualifies as an “EX”

  • That manipulative person who only uses you for their own selfish need.

  • That person that hurt you so bad that a few years later you still cringe at the thought of the relationship or lack there of.

  • That married ex that will not live you alone.

  • That abusive person you mistakenly allowed into your life and are afraid to piss off by saying “Stay the hell away from me.”

  • You can fill in the blanks if I missed one.

    • Who are you?

  • Are you the person that deserves better? Some of us are not sure we can do better, but if your “EX” falls in one of the categories listed above: YOU DESERVE BETTER.

  • Are you still in love with your “EX”? Sorry to tell you are going to have to be strong and walk away, when you look back you will know you did the best thing.

  • Did you fall apart when the relationship was over? Some people are strong enough to get right back on track and move on with their lives, if you are reading this, then you are not one of them. However, this too shall pass, you will get through this, you will meet the person that is yours by Divine Right, and the happiness you will feel will remove every ounce of pain you are going through right now.

  • Do you HATE your “EX” so much that the GOODNESS of your heart will not let you wish evil on him/her? Goodness in your heart means there is room for forgiveness and to giving more love to someone else.

    • Tips to Help You Get Through This

    Let your feelings out in words. Get a sheet of paper and write everything you need to say about what happened to you, why it happened and how you feel about it. Let it rip, pour your heart, your soul, your sadness, your self-pity and your hate out, but know that this is the last time you will ever talk about that person to anyone (including yourself). Then burn it, rip it into shreds throw it in the fire place or the trash, not the one in your home but trash that you would never cross your mind as a place you passed before (burning is still the easiest just be careful, sane and sober when you do this.)

    Stop thinking about what happened, good or bad. STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS PERSON. How do you do that? With an effective affirmation, a prayer, words or a picture depicting the true love you desire. Create an affirmation, make it simple, short, long or complicated to the point that you forget the reason you were affirming in the first place, it does not matter, all that matters is that you are not thinking about your “EX”. The mind plays tricks on us, it wonders and does not always help us think about what is best for us.

    Why do I say it is important to stop thinking about your “EX”? Three words the Law of Attraction: You attract into your life that which you dwell on with emotions. If you keep thinking about your “EX” he or she will remain in your life.

    So get yourself a powerful affirmation, one you will remember at the drop of a hat, whenever you think about your “EX” immediately start to repeat the affirmation. It simply means you are substituting a negative thought with something positive. Do this every time you are compelled to think about your “EX.”

    Learn the true power of forgiveness. You are going to have to forgive this person. I know you are thinking “What the H…?” but if you don’t, you will not move forward and you will only be hurting yourself. This person has already taken enough from you, why give him or her another iota of your life? Not forgiving and getting on with your life will do more harm to you mentally, physically and spiritually.

    Get your ducks in a row, set yourself up for success. Nothing spells “I am over you” more than your success. Get on that workout and healthy eating regimen you have been threatening yourself to go on. You have to take care of yourself, be healthy and reduce stress. Bust your behind to get that job promotion you know will keep you adequately occupied and rearing to go. Travel, go to Paris, nothing spells I am okay like a long European vacation, if you live in Europe go somewhere else. If your “EX” is French, speaks French or looks French, then go to Africa or Australia, you get the picture. But don’t wallow in self pity, it is a slippery slop to depression, however, if you feel yourself slipping, get help. There are lots of great books, websites and professionals out there that can help you get through this moment.

    The hurt of heartbreak is real, the person that coined the phrase broken heart meant it literarily. Yes, you feel pain, but is thinking about the source of your pain is not going to help it mend. My favorite quote by Albert Einstein is his definition of insantity it goes, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” People change and people should get second chances, but why would you want to put yourself through that again with the same person? “Fool me once shame on you fool me twice? Not now that I know better.”

    You have to get on with your life. Don’t waste anymore time in the past, set goals, make plans, live, and one morning you will wake up and find that you have gotten over your “EX”.

    Good Luck

    Related Articles
    Forgive and Forget?
    The Healing Power of Forgiveness
    Relationship Guidelines

    Creative Commons License photo credit: Hamed Saber

    Comments

    11 Responses to “Serious Tips to Help You Get Over Your Ex”

    1. Personal Development Carnival - 12/10/06 Edition - Balanced Life Center on December 9th, 2006 8:16 pm

      [...] n your mind? Charlsie Winston presents Power posted at Manifesting Universe. Tabs presents Serious Tips to Help You Get Over Your Ex posted at Levnow Self- [...]

    2. karina on December 12th, 2006 8:03 am

      I think that I have to forget him to be happy in spite of having a baby with him. I’ll try hard to continue with my life because I know that I deserve to love once more and he isn’t the only man in the world I can’t love somebody who has hurt me so much.

    3. Tabs on December 13th, 2006 8:17 pm

      Sorry about everything, you seem to be in pain. You are not alone, though your journey is unique, a lot of people are going through the same thing, and feel the same way you do. Hang in there you deserve more than someone that hurt you this way, and you just have to start to believe you deserve more.

      Yes, you have to forgive, I believe forgiving a person you gave your heart to is one of the hardest things to do, but you have to keep trying. It is the only way you can be truly free from the relationship. You forgive yourself and learn to love yourself again and soon you will feel better and look back on the relationship as a lesson learned. You have forgive and soon someone better will help you create beautiful memories to take the sadness away.

      Take care of yourself, no one deserves to be treated badly. I wish you the very best.

      Cheers,

    4. Linda on January 22nd, 2007 9:17 am

      Thanks for the reminders! I think you hit the nail on the head with all of them. I am in the healing process right now and find myself hitting the snags all the time and having to redirect myself back to the path of joy. It takes effort and it’s the only way!

    5. Tabs on January 22nd, 2007 11:27 am

      Linda, you are welcome and you are right about the effort to keep ones self on the path of joy, it’s the high road that’s why it is so hard. I find myself hitting snags in all aspects of life but I often remind myself that there is no going back especially since I know exactly what is back there.

      Take care and thanks for visiting,
      Tabs

    6. Florian on January 28th, 2007 4:35 pm

      Hi,
      I found your blog via google by accident and have to admit that youve a really interesting blog :-)
      Just saved your feed in my reader, have a nice day :)

    7. Ian on February 6th, 2007 4:13 am

      Good luck all you guys. I am too in the process of greiving…Hurts like hell.. Should I keep in contact or not…Any thoughts.?

    8. Tabs on February 6th, 2007 10:31 am

      Ian, sorry to hear you are hurting, don’t we all wish things could be perfect all the time. Since they are not however, the next best thing is learn how to take care of yourself in such situations.

      With regards to your question “Should I keep in contact or not?” I would say if keeping in contact is akin to putting salt in an open wound then don’t. If keeping in contract is stopping you from moving forward then don’t. Also ask yourself and be honest, would this person really want to talk to you? Is your relationship one that you can now become friends?

      Bottom line: If this is going to keep hurting you, then try to move on, as hard as it seems eventually there will be less pain, I am yet to discover how to get rid of the memories but I am working on it.

      Most of the time this is a question about what is the right thing to do in the long run as opposed to instant gratification, remember to think about what is best for you and if you are willing to sacrifice the time and effort to heal.

      Good Luck Ian, I wish all the best,
      Tabs

    9. cecilia on June 19th, 2008 7:20 pm

      I fell that I have been the one that messed up 3 years of my life for tring to give someone to many chances. I belive that this feeling will only be cured by time. This helps me move on. Tanks.

    10. Kevin on July 31st, 2008 11:32 am

      The toughest thing to do is to walk away from someone that you feel is your soulmate…I had to do it and to this day it still hurts when I think of her. But the bottom line is it is the right thing to do because of our circumstances ( I am married) ...too many would be hurt if we were to be selfish and only think of ourselves.

    11. Tabs on August 2nd, 2008 12:00 pm

      Thanks for your comment,Kevin, that was very brave and noble of you. Hang in there and take solace in the fact that unlike many you took the high road.

      Cheers,
      Tabs

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