Forgive and Forget: How do you know when you have forgiven someone (Part 2)

Posted on February 1, 2007

Forgive and forget. Forgiving is great, however, I am not a big advocate of forgetting, it’s that whole learn from your past and don’t repeat the same mistake thing. So I try to apply the forgiving part in my life simply because I know the ramifications of not forgiving so I say, “Forgive and Move On.”

I have often wondered how I would know if I have truly forgiven someone, I don’t have that many people in my life I need to forgive, but the ones I do have, require frequent affirmations. How do I know when I have moved on? Is it the amount of time that has passed? Is it when I am at peace with myself? Or is it when I am finally on the road to fulfilling my desires? How do I know when I have forgiven someone?

Today, I was rereading the Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz, (I needed something to read at the gym and this book jumped off the bookshelf, twice!) and don Miguel had the answer to my “How do you know you have truly forgiven someone question.” I had to share because a lot of people read my original “Forgive and Forget?” blog, and I feel this information completes that blog.

In his book, don Miguel Ruiz talks about the importance of forgiveness, self-acceptance, self-love and forgiveness being the key to freedom. He then describes what forgiveness feels like:

“You will know you have forgiven someone when you see them and you no longer have an emotional reaction. You will hear the name of the person and you will have no emotional reaction. When someone can touch what used to be a wound and it no longer hurts you, then you know you have truly forgiven.”

I may have mentioned this before, “A past hurt is like a physical scar that remains with you forever.” The memory of what happened never goes away it is your reaction to the memory that is important. Are you going to let past events take control or your life or are you going to put them right where they belong, “in the past.” Now you know what forgiveness is supposed to feel like, I believe you will be able to gauge your progress. Reading this book today, I know now from the reaction I have to certain people I my life how much work I have done forgiving people and I now know how much more I have to do.

Perhaps you never stop praying for and forgiving people that hurt you, but I know the act of praying and forgiving is the path to healing and peace of mind, so why stop. I am still and will always stand behind the power of forgiveness because I have seen what it has done in my life. I can tell you that forgiveness takes the pain away, forgiveness is your freedom. I can tell you that forgiveness is the key to taking back control of your life.

Cheers

Blogger’s Note:
As I learn and experience more about forgiveness I have written more blogs on the topic please check them out, they make a more comprehensive and cohesive whole.

Forgive and Forget? (Part 1)

Forgive and Forget: How to Take Your Power Back (Part 3)

photo credit: alicepopkorn

Filed Under Living Eternal Vigilance, Relationships

PLEASE & Thank You

Comments

One Response to “Forgive and Forget: How do you know when you have forgiven someone (Part 2)”

Levnow Self-Help Tools Blog » Blog Archive » A Final Word on Forgiveness on April 13th, 2007 9:03 pm

[...] If you are reading this blog because you have someone you know you need to forgive this paragraph gives you all you need to know in a nut shell. If you need more I have included links to the copious information I have gathered on forgiveness in this blog. [...]

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