A Final Word on Forgiveness

Posted on April 13, 2007

It has been a long journey but I believe I have finally gotten all the lessons I need on forgiveness. The realization came to me today while reading a paragraph in the book Chakra Balancing by Anodea Judith, the paragraph summarizes everything I have spent a long, long trying to understand and say about how to forgive, why you forgive, when to forgive and how to move on with your life.

If you are reading this blog because you have someone you know you need to forgive this paragraph gives you all you need to know in a nut shell. If you need more I have included links to the copious information I have gathered on forgiveness in this blog.

Here is an excerpt on forgiveness from Chakra Balancing Kit: A Guide to Healing and Awakening Your Energy Body:

Forgiveness, however, does not always come naturally, easily, or quickly. There are indeed actions that can seem difficult if not impossible to forgive, especially if we are still suffering from the negative effects of these actions.

Forgiveness does not mean that what someone did was okay. It doesn’t mean that an action didn’t matter, or that you have to allow it to happen again or to necessarily invite that person back into your life. It simply means that you can realize the valuable lessons these kinds of experiences have taught you. When we reclaim our lives and stop seeing ourselves as victims of others, then it no longer matters how these particular lessons were delivered. Forgiveness is ultimately not about others at all, but about accepting what has happened to us and moving on. – Anodea Judith

I say this is a final word on forgiveness, at least for me and for now because I have done the work, I have found lots of answers and they all come to the same conclusions:
1. Forgive yourself
2. It takes time and effort to forgive.
3. Learn the lessons that person or situation was meant to teach you.
4. Watch out for the signs you missed the first time. Vigilance is the key.
5. DO NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE AGAIN.
6. You must take your power and your life back as soon as possible.
7. Forgiveness is all about you, you do it for yourself and no one else
8. Move on and get on with your life.

Filed Under Living Eternal Vigilance, Relationships, Self Improvement, Self-Help Tools

PLEASE & Thank You

Comments

4 Responses to “A Final Word on Forgiveness”

Priscilla on April 19th, 2007 12:42 am

Excellent post. You are correct that “forgiveness does not mean what someone did was okay”, but by forgiving them we allow the hurt to subside. If we hold a grudge it just makes things worse.
Tabs on April 19th, 2007 1:10 am

Thanks for your comment Priscilla, and you are absolutely right about grudges making things worse, a grudge only adds energy to the negative situation. The best plan is to forgive and try to move on.

Take care
Tabs
marcia siegel on April 20th, 2007 3:36 pm

forgiveness is difficult. i do not know why we as humans combine forgiveness with letting someone off the hook, or forgetting etc.
what forgiveness is about is really forgiving ourselves and caring for ourselves. we know how we feel when we can not forgive which usally leads to obsessing and bitterness. yet despite that it is hard for us to see the harm we are doing to ourselves. it is good that this is being talked about and outside a religious content for those of us that are not religious.
Tabs on April 20th, 2007 6:29 pm

Marcia,
You are absolutely right about forgiveness not being about the other person, I don’t know why we have been conditioned this way. I often wonder what we as human beings have done in the past to make out collective consciousness hold on to pain as opposed to letting go and getting on with our lives.

Forgiveness is a hard lesson but once you start to figure it out you begin to wake up to the crap we have been lead to believe most of our lives. We have all do things that we need to be forgiven for and some hurts cut so deep they become a part of you, for most of us the scars are a memory so you just have to learn to brush it off by thinking of something new and creating new experiences for yourself.

Thanks so much for sharing your thought,

Tabs