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Can A Person Change? Part Two

Posted on April 14, 2008

Suddenly things seem crystal clear to me ...

Note from the Author
Part Two of the journey to find out if a person can truly change, please enjoy reading and let me know what yo u think…

People Just Don’t Change Theory
As the title says, Can a Person Change? People just don’t change, look around you, people and yourself are doing the same exact things you were doing, say 18 years ago, really take a long hard look at your life what exactly are you doing differently? How are you different? I am not talking about your physical situation; I hope in all the years you look back you have changed. When I talk about physical change I mean, you graduate, you get married, I am not talking about the things that change with time but changes in the way you think, in what you do, does a person who habitually sleeps late become a morning person and loves it. Does a person fighting with addiction, food, spending, drugs wake up one morning and stops knowing deep inside that they will never become that person again.

People just don’t change or maybe it is just me. One good thing about this theory is that it gives me an excuse for others, I look at a person I have known for ages and marvel at how much the same person they are and my “people just don’t change theory” helps me accept them for who they are, gives me a reason to love them more, or lets me know it is time to end the relationship.

People just don’t change, how sad.

You Have to Want to Change Theory
Knowing you have a core being of who you are, who you were born to be and what you have become. Knowing people don’t change, or knowing that there are several selves in you that you have to accept. This theory is created from the knowledge of all the other theories, serious self examination and knowing that the status quo just will not work. This is the result of knowing everything else just will not do.

What do you do?
You find your core, accept who you are and then you chose to change what you do to make your life better on the inside. We are not all born with great destinies to lead people, to heal people, to change the world, some of us don’t even know what our purpose on this planet is regardless of how many books you read, classes or tests you take. But you do know what isn’t working in your life. You know what makes you cringe in the morning and ask why you have to get out of bed. You know what aches that should not and you know what you need to do to change it.

You chose to do something to change the things you do that go contrary to your core, to your life and to your purpose. I was joking once in the last four weeks of my journey to find if I had changed or not, saying my soul was Lion living as a meerkat, poking my head out to look around on popping right back into my hole where I felt safe, was I safe? A lion and a rodent living in the same person, if I am a Lion that is the self I need to find, that is who I am at my core. If I am a meerkat, then it is time to start to live without fear, it is time to go out and explore the limitless possibilities that lay before me, because living in me was spirit of a great creature and I let lives circumstances cage that spirit. Every which way, it was time for change. I have two clashing personalities I know which one I want to be. Can you guess?

The bottom line is this: If my thoughts have remained the same in 18 years, then I am clear as to why certain situations in my life have remained the same. Your thoughts create your life, perhaps the best and worst ones are the ones you don’t realize you have been replaying over and over in your head. Think good, productive, encouraging and empowering thoughts and you can see the product around and in you. Think negative, degrading, angry thoughts and you can see the product around you.

The answer is a simple solution as cliché as it may sound “Change your thoughts to truly change your life.”

A random journal entry from 18 years ago finds its way back to my life and has set me on a completely different path. Helping you may or may not be my purpose in life but if this helps you in any way, shape or form, then I know I am being true to my core, my soul, myself.

As of today I have faced my fear and read the journal entries and yes, I could have written it yesterday; I am a lot more confident now because I have proven the theory that I spent my self-help career trying to prove: IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A PERSON TO TRULY CHANGE?

The answer is an astounding YES. Find your core and live true to yourself.

Cheers

Can A Person Change? Part One

Creative Commons License photo credit: annia316

Filed Under Family & Friends, Forgiveness, Goals, Law of Attraction, Motivation, Personal Development, Self Improvement, Self-Help Tools, Success
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Comments

2 Responses to “Can A Person Change? Part Two”

  1. Jake Ewing on April 22nd, 2008 3:33 pm

    I took a few courses with Landmark Education a few years ago, and a part of it that really stuck with me was a conversation about the difference between change and transformation. Change, the conversation went, is always mapped against the past. We have a past behavior that we don’t particularly like and we’re trying to change it—I have a bad temper and now I’m trying to be nicer to people. The problem is that trying to change something referenced against the past actually reinforces the reality of the past undesired behavior. What sort of person would be trying to change to be nicer? A person who was ill-tempered. It can never really escape the past.

    Transformation, the conversation went, was an acceptance of exactly the way things are that allowed a choice of any possibility, completely distinct from the past.

    I can see at least one place where I’ve had this “transformation.” I used to be a shy person; I rarely spoke to strangers. Now I speak publicly for a living. I never set out to work on being less shy. However, I got interested in my future life involving other people to a much greater degree, and that future live pulled me into dealing with people more and more until one day I looked around and the shyness was just gone. But I never set out to change it.

    It sounds like your journal entry points to some kind of transformation. I don’t think change happens out of fixing something about yourself that you don’t like. I think it happened because you took on new thoughts, a new future that called forth a new person.

  2. Tabs on April 23rd, 2008 12:57 pm

    Jake,
    I love the word Transformation.

    Your words “I don’t think change happens out of fixing something about yourself that you don’t like. I think it happened because you took on new thoughts, a new future that called forth a new person.”

    How very powerful they verbalized what I was thinking. I often say “you wake up one morning and you are not the same person, things are different.” It really is the transformation taking place, is a result in the change in thought.

    Maybe we should not focus on the word “change,” it may seem somewhat negative, not natural, at least that seems like what we have turned the word into, but “to transform” sounds more organic, does not seem to need as much effort as “change”.

    Thank you so much for your insightful words, you have truely added value here.

    Tabs

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